“Winning” the Debates

Well, the next big Campaign Events are the “debates”. “Debates” is in quotes because they don't resemble any real debate format I'm familiar with. They're rigged for Georgie, both in format and, especially, in terms of expectations. The format is ideal for his “off- the- cuff” speaking style, which is to blather incoherently until he hits on a (possibly) relevant memorized talking point. Georgie will “win” if he manages to avoid peeing in his pants or throwing up on the moderator.

Fortunately for Kerry, he just might be able to make Georgie do this:

• Georgie hero-worships Poppy. Criticizing Poppy might be enough to make Georgie lose it. Some ideas:
  • Poppy gave the go- ahead for Saddam Hussein to invade Kuwait.
  • Poppy didn't finish the job in Iraq. Now, anybody with a long memory knows exactly why he didn't finish it, but there aren't many long memories around.
  • Poppy encouraged the Marsh Arabs to revolt and then stood back and watched them get massacred.
  • Poppy stood by and let the former Soviet Union slide into chaos. They needed help in setting up a modern economy; they didn't get it.
• Bring up Ken Lay. Last time somebody did this, Georgie stormed off in a huff.

I'm sure that Kerry's advisors can come up with more. Point is, they need to.