If you like English weather, you'll love English cooking.
-- Hagar the Horrible
So, the latest way to show patriotism is by the menu. No more french fries or french toast; it's "freedom fries" and "freedom toast".
Half hearted, half assed, half <body part>. If you're gonna do it, do it right. Remember who our friends are. So tomorrow's menu is:
- Toad in the hole
- Bangers and mash
- Blood pudding
- Kidney pie
- Mushy peas
- Spotted dick
- Rhubarb crumble with custard
- Special treat: Deep fried Mars® bars
Both Marmite and Vegemite will be available.
BTW, your vacation in Cannes has been rerouted. You're going to Manchester instead.